Remorse and Stupidity
by SarcasticComment
Summary: Remorse and longing and stupid, stupid love sang out in the halls of the palace of Xing. Lingfan one shot.


She knew from spending one day with him that he was in love with another woman. It was the way he got when she talked at length, looking above or behind him distractedly, wishing for another's company. It was in the way he was so stiffly formal with her, stubbornly refusing to speak or act casually with her. She knew it was an arranged marriage made to make the Emperor more relatable to his people. He used to be a God, never seen by the common folk and having fifty wives and hoards of children. This Emperor had done away with those costumes in an attempt to bring Xing together as one country, and the country had agreed more willingly than most had expected, they were tired of so many civil wars and assassinations, as long as clan leaders still held power no one really complained.

But the fifty clansmen had also decided that he still needed to marry, a bachelor Emperor simply wouldn't do, so they had picked her; a girl born from parents of different clans giving her no command to either and therefore made no clan more powerful in politics than another, a brilliant move really. At first they had asked him to pick a bride (not so subtly hinting it should be her, but a choice none the less) he had shrugged, putting it off, until the choice was made for him, and her.

She didn't particularly care, she was going to be married off regardless, and in this case she got a pretty sweet deal out of it, a life of royalty and a husband who was not rude or angry, but actually quite pleasant. But it surprised her that he cared so much, that he was given a chance to choose, to be with his mystery girl, but was marrying her instead.

It occurred to her that maybe his secret love was not made to be Empress like she had been, not bred for politics and social conventions. She kept a steady eye out for the person that held the Emperor's heart. But he didn't make doe-eyes at any of the ladies of court, nor did he favor any one of his servants, he didn't even gaze longingly at some of the nicer looking men. To an outsider he appeared the doting fiance, but it was a ruse; false smiles and tired (not infatuated) sighs.

It was only during the feast that followed their wedding that she got an inkling of who her new husband's mystery lover was. It happened when he was preparing a toast, lifting his wine goblet and proclaiming the happy day as if he truly enjoyed it. She felt a brush of wind pass her as the speech reached it's conclusion. The next moment the emperor was falling forward, the goblet sent flying, raining crimson liquid onto the table. The Emperor crashed down on the tabletop, a black-clad figure atop his back. Silence rang in the large hall. The entire room, hundreds of people, sucked in a breath, wide-eyed. The next moment the figure sprang off the Emperor,

"M-Majesty! The drink had a milky whiteness to it! I believe it was poisoned!" the person's voice was light, filled with worry, and entirely feminine, she spoke softly but her words carried through the hall.

The room erupted.

"Poisoned?!"

"Who could've-"

"his wedding-"

"Is that the guard?"

"-assassin!"

The person, the Emperor's bodyguard, she realized spoke again through the din,

"I will seek out this killer, My Lord,"

"Make someone else do it, I want you here with me," The Emperor demanded. His guard paused but then nodded and ran off, returning in under a minute, relaying that she ordered the guards to question the kitchen staff. "Thank you, Lan Fan," The Emperor said to his guard directly, and in the pandemonium that surrounded them, no one noticed how he looked directly into her eyes and squeezed her shoulder, holding her at a distance far too close than what would be acceptable, but his hand shaking as if he wanted to pull her closer. No one noticed, except his wife, who remained by his side.

A moment later the guard slipped into the shadows. His gaze lingered on the where she was hidden before returning his attention to the dining room, the chaos was already abating.

So Emperor Ling was in love with his bodyguard.

She and the Emperor walked together to his chambers after the feast. He was quiet the entire time and stared at the door a long time before turning the dead bolt. He turned around to face her and untied the sash that held his elegant, expensive robe closed. He shrugged out of it awkwardly, and folded it by the door, stalling. Now, clad in only a flowing undershirt and loose pants did he meet her eyes, they swam with regret. He smiled, so fake, so fake, so _fake._

He leaned in and and placed his lips on hers. Pressure on her lips, pressure on his, not a kiss. He did it because it was a duty, a kiss and sex as necessary as the documents he signs everyday. His hands reach up and cup her face, no imprint of fire is left on her skin, instead his hands feel clammy and his thumbs trembled as he strokes her cheeks. She breaks the kiss and he seems almost eager to let go of her face. She didn't look at him, fixing her gaze on the door instead.

Then she felt the qi. She had never been very good at sensing them, but it was hard to miss the one right outside the door, shinning like a lighthouse at night. She recognized who it must belong to a moment later, Ling's guard, who usually masked her qi like a guard was wont, had let it loose. She had no need to mask her presence, no servants would come near the Imperial chambers tonight, and herself and the Emperor were supposed to be too busy to notice.

The guard's qi cried, sobbed with sadness, regret when no doubt the woman herself remained stone-faced and placid, daring anyone to try and attack the Emperor again. And slowly she turned to face him, his qi rang out in tune to her's, regret as loud as a beating drum. He had a harder time keeping himself together, his fists trembling at his sides.

"You're in love with her, your guard...Lan Fan," it wasn't a question.

"Yes," he choked.

"We have to do this, get it over with, one heir is enough,"

"Yes,"

He put pressure on her lips again, his entire body shaking. She thought she felt a tear on her cheek, but she wasn't crying.

Remorse and longing and stupid, _stupid _love sang out in the halls of the palace of Xing.


End file.
